but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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