You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Pooping to opera.
Randomize