Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
