the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize