Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We had sex on a dog bed..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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