Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
