Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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