I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
