I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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