shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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