I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
