I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
