Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
