I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
