in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
