You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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