im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
