I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
