Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
