do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize