everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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