I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
