This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize