I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
