i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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