I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
