Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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