Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
