not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
