I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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