Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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