And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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