Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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