I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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