Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
