Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
