Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
