he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
