first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
