you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
