What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
