question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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