So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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