38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
40s are totally the cure
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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