It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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