Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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