It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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