Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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