mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
