Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
