I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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