I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
