Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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