Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
