let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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