how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
