I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
